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Fox #FAIL – Thoughts Inspired by “More to Love”

Posted by Chanelle Schneider on August 8, 2009

The confident women who have learned to ignore the ostracizing commentary can be seen airing their disappointment for the show “More to Love” on Twitter under the hashtag #moretolove. Where they hoped to see an empowering representation of real women finding real love from a man who cares more about someone’s heart than their waist size, they see desperate, depressing women who believe this man is their last chance at love. Sadly, the women who relate have grown up their entire lives believing they are ugly and worthless because they have a few extra folds of skin on their body. If the narrative of “More to Love” continues in the same vein, I would suggest Fox stop any work on a second season.

Potential supporters of this show want to see women like them. The numbers of stereotypes being represented on this show serve to educate none, while adding to the shame the fat-phobic watchers expect from us. Being overweight is not love’s death sentence. Being overweight is not the (only) reason why you haven’t found love. Overweight women do not want, crave, or eat food all day every day. We do not find the kitchen to be a source of comfort. We are not desperate, whiny, and immature. We are confident, motivated, and happy people. I know this may shock some people, but some of us are even happily married.

Fox, your reliance on trite social memes to tell the tale of fat girls finding love has proved to be more harmful than helpful, as the people who truly need to learn a lesson about acceptance are having their opinions validated by your program. Your interviews are likely prompted by questions that aim to bring tears to the eyes of the competitors, making a better story for your viewers. Sorry, Fox, it’s not working. Everyone who has experienced this knows this story and has worked hard to get beyond it to a place of happiness and acceptance. Where are the stories of the women who love themselves and are on the show to find the man that can love them? Why continue the barrage of negative, acceptance-blocking self-speak? Clearly your intention was never to show “real women” looking for “real love” or else you would have included confident women in your group of contestants.

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6 Responses to “Fox #FAIL – Thoughts Inspired by “More to Love””

  1. louisiana said

    I couldn’t agree more! The old saying is certainly reflected here! “You won’t be successful at romantic love until you love yourself”. Could this be the reason why they are looking for love? Every woman is beautiful! But when you are unhappy with yourself- it shows, and is not attractive-period. I know plenty of “big women” (myself included) who are gorgeous, or so it seems, because they are comfortable, happy women that you just want to be around because their “inner beauty” is constantly on display. Not to mention that when you are “looking for love” because you feel time has run out for you, you lose appeal and appear desperate. Real women who put themselves in the driver’s seat of their lives know that the man for them is on his way to them, and they continue to live their full happy lives in the meantime.

  2. Goody said

    i hear ya.

    i have only watched the first episode of more to love and i could barely get thru it.

    i mean right from the beginning there was all of this whining and bemoaning life as a fat chick and honestly i almost felt embarrassed for some of them..

    i mean the desperation was so thick!

  3. It is no surprise to me that Fox is using the show to exploit these women and put them in the joke spotlight. That’s just how FOX is. Anything that can have a negative spin put on it in the slightest way, they jump at the opportunity. I cannot, however, blame the entire thing on the network. It saddens me to see these women accepting the ideals that because they are overweight that
    1)they cannot find real love or happiness
    2)happiness is dependent upon having a man

    Now, I’m not saying having a man doesn’t make you happy because it surely brings me joy, LOL. HOWEVER, if you are not happy with who you are by yourself, then being with someone is not going to change that. A man does not want a woman that is down on herself, desperate, and needy. And unfortunately, when alot of overweight women get rejected they blame it on their weight. No sweetie, it is much deeper than that. If you are truly comfortable in your own skin, that will show forth. You will exude confidence and EVERYONE will be able to see it. Likewise, if you are self-conscious, depressed, and presenting yourself as the perpetual victim that will show through as well. It’s true that extra pounds are unattractive to SOME people. But low self-esteem is ugly to EVERYONE. And if you honestly feel that your weight is the one thing holding you back from having all you want, then stop all the belly aching and lose it!

  4. Ms. Kris said

    You can be overweight and not have an issue. I know many slim people who are overweight by the least 15 pounds. However, when you are OBESE, I can see how one may feel emotionally and mentally affected by the pressures of society, and the constant drilling that “Thin is sexy”. I know first hand what that feels like, but if you don’t learn to be self patient, and define who you are and ultimately love the inner you….then yes, this world will chew you up and spit you out, and there is no apologizing! It’s hard when you have hoarders that feed off of someone’s lack of emotional stability and stress due to weight gain thus, these woman become desperate for love and attention, as they have been so often teased or ignored.

    (In a nutshell, this is the world we live in. It’s sad.)

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