#GenYChat with Josip Petrusa

On Wednesday June 9, 2010 #GenYChat will have a guest moderator: Josip Petrusa!

To participate in the discussion, click this link. http://tweetchat.com/room/genychat

We will be discussing the GenY Catch 22: Getting experience without having experience and dealing with the consequences.

For transcripts from previous chats, please click here

Getting There: Tavaghn “Montsterr” Monts Speaks Part II

Getting There is a series featuring interviews from Generation Y young people who are breaking stereotypes and not only working hard to achieve their own definition of success but working to improve the lives of others around them.

Among other professions Tavaghn “Montster” Monts is Vice President of My Life Keys where he works as a Motivator and Life Coach. He has built a strong network leveraging his ability to relate with his target audience through consistent, branded messages on Twitter. If you’re living under a rock, Twitter is a social networking tool that allows people to connect with one another in a vastly more efficient manner than Facebook. Showing his prowess, Tavaghn does more than share what he’s eating for breakfast, offering ways in which his followers can “Motivate Your Motivation” through the “#MYM” hashtag.

In the video below he answers the following questions:

What advice do you have for men who want to achieve success in their lives?

What advice do you have for women who want to do the same?

You’re also known for your relationship advice. Can you discuss the importance of defining your passions and setting career and life goals for yourself as it pertains to building a strong relationship?

You’ve built a large network on Twitter and use that network to share positive messages. How can young people (under 30) use Twitter to achieve their goals? Would you advise them against saying certain things?

Getting There: Tavaghn “Montsterr” Monts Speaks Part I

Getting There is a series featuring interviews from Generation Y young people who are breaking stereotypes and not only working hard to achieve their own definition of success but working to improve the lives of others around them.

Among other professions Tavaghn “Montster” Monts is Vice President of My Life Keys where he works as a Motivator and Life Coach. He has built a strong network leveraging his ability to relate with his target audience through consistent, branded messages on Twitter. If you’re living under a rock, Twitter is a social networking tool that allows people to connect with one another in a vastly more efficient manner than Facebook. Showing his prowess, Tavaghn does more than share what he’s eating for breakfast, offering ways in which his followers can “Motivate Your Motivation” through the “#MYM” hashtag.

In the video below he answers the following questions:

Many famous stars attribute their success to knowing exactly what they wanted to do or be when they were a child. Did you know what you wanted to do or be at a young age?

Sometimes our true gifts are hidden to us and are only revealed after someone who believes in us points them out. Did you see your gift, or did someone help you to identify it?

Authority figures can have a positive and/or negative influence on our lives. Did anyone in a position of authority over you try to steer you away from your dream? If so, how did you recover? If not, how did you fight their negativity?

Can you talk about the important decision you made that impacted your life? Why did you make that decision? How did you feel then compared to how you feel now? Was it worth it?

Continue to Part II

Guest Post: 10 MANTRAS FOR EMPOWERING FOCUS

J. Farand has written a guest post for There From Here on believing in your right to take hold of your destiny by eliminating distraction and focusing on your dream.

If you are looking for enriching and uplifting, well informed commentary about the social and political scene from the eyes of a black man in America, OWL ASYLUM is the web residence and sound board of J. Farand, a student of life, and technology, web content provider/manager, designer and developer who loves to discuss and critique the actions of the powers that be…because it’s fun!…

1. “I’M HERE FOR A REASON”

As most people who follow my blog or my twitter feed know, I am not one for a lot of empty statements of positivity that leave you with no practical applications. My spirituality doesn’t need to be bolstered by the applause given to the preacher or speaker that can only proffer me statements such as “keep the faith,” or “the tide will turn.” However, with my experience, and my forth coming success as a writer and student, I have learned to be a little more open-minded about faith-based mantras.

So here is one of the more faith based affirmations I walk around with: I am here for a purpose. Regardless of if I am simply a unit of congealed waveforms or a hierarchy of cellular organs in cooperation, there is a high level of work that has been put into each of us. I have never thought about giving up. I’d almost say any failure I have suffered through was more bad values than bad aiming. However, we have all gone through a situation where we could taste the pity. In those times it has always been my practice to remind myself of who I have touched and what my gifts are; and, that usually helps to jog my memory as to why I embarked on the journey in the first place.

We are all being driven to vibrate at a higher pitch. We are all being driven to live our lives in a healthier more stable and more satisfying way. Never forget that the Sun shines on you and not without reason.

2. “NO SENSE IN LOOKING BACK NOW”

Have you ever watched a game show where contestants must vie for an exclusive position? Have you ever seen a second place contestant’s complimentary parting gift and said, “I WANT THAT!!” Never? Yeah, me neither…

No one wants to finish in second place. But often we dare ourselves only enough before complacency sets in. We fail to push ourselves that one last lap as hard as we can; and, we settle for second best. The reality of this metaphor, however, is that settling could mean the difference between a good career and a great self-owned business. Once you have begun to walk that plank keep going. Don’t turn around. We know what is back there: the life we left to pursue our goals. The place where our dreams didn’t come true is back there. Don’t go back there.

3. “TRANSCEND THE MOMENT”

I used to cut out pictures of toys that I wanted my parents to buy when I was a child. As I grew, I began to do the same thing with the type of home I wanted. I imagined how the furniture might look and the means in which I was entertained. I even had a pet snake in one of my collages. Nothing defeats your focus better than being stuck focusing on the present surroundings. I live here. I’m not here. For many who have never been in the worst of places, it is easy to tote philosophies of being in the moment, and in the present. Yeah. Tell that to a child buried under a building awaiting assistance, “Just think about the moment…” Blah and more blah!

The more practical approach is to transcend the moment. Step outside of this dimension for a moment; and, walk into the dimension that you are now creating. Smell it for just a minute. Taste it. Tape stick-its to its walls. You have to have sight beyond sight. This is not for those of you who are simply hoping for a raise. I’m talking to those that truly wish to transcend. This writing is for those who are focused on transforming their lives in a major way. Those types of people have to momentarily tolerate the mediocrity of their present condition, while forging their future, now, by transcending the moment. Live in the now while behaving and thinking as you would if you had already accomplished your goal.

4. “EXERCISE YOUR FUTURE YOU”

In the same vein as the last, you must learn to be your future you, now. One of the basic fallacies of learning is that we believe that we will always enjoy the same things, or behave in the same manner in the future as we do now. How immature would the world be if that were true?

Consider yourself. Consider what words you would use. Consider your posture. Consider your working habits. How can you increase the frequency of your performance in the present to the level you believe you would in your future? Long term or short term goals leave indelible marks on our souls once accomplished. The world changes around us as well. It is as if you begin to emit a pheromone into the air that says successful.

Why not become that person now? Train your focus by training yourself to be what you are focusing on becoming. Why wait?

5. “SMILE, YOU’VE GOT TO PREPARE FOR YOUR AWARD CEREMONY….”

This one is ironic, mainly because everyone says I have an aggressive mug, so even I have to practice my smile daily. I believe it is important to enjoy yourself. Yes, you may still have a few more years to crank out that final lap of your goal, but hey, why not get ready now? Success comes with a social life, and you’d better have a decent meet and greet posture.

I smile just to remind myself I am one step closer to that vision. I smile to calm myself. I smile to tease away the temptation to pull away from an assignment that is necessary for my overall success.

I smile because I love me enough to. Part of success is happiness and inner peace. I express that with a smile.

Look out for Part 2 in the near future!

Do these tips help you? How do you find focus in your own life? Answer in the comments and let’s all help each other get there from here!

Misdirected Anger Strikes Again

UPDATE! John Mayer didn’t call black women “dark ass hoes” but Kevin Hart did. Where’s the anger about this?

UPDATE: John Mayer tearfully apologizes for his comments

See Video below

John Mayer did an interview for Playboy Magazine wherein he said, “I think the world would be better off if I stopped doing interviews.” Well, I think it’s a good thing that he did this one because it set off a hailstorm of tweets, making the words “John Mayer” so popular it became a Trending Topic on Twitter. More importantly, it showed one flaw with American society. Many are quick to read, trust, and share thoughts from other people without critically analyzing and forming their own opinion. What set this off in my opinion? The following two tweets are from Dr. Marc Lamont Hill.

John Mayer on dating Black women: “I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.”

John Mayer cont’d “I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.”

I have no issue with Dr. Hill; and, I have no agenda to pursue. I feel that his tweet caused the subsequent re-tweets, which resulted in the controversy. With his reputation, many people read his tweet and stopped there without reading the article to get the entire quote, trusting him to be fair and balanced. What Dr. Hill left out was an extremely vital piece of Mayer’s message:  “I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.” Dr. Hill says it was not intentionally left out, but he believes that making such a decision signifies a decision to date women unattractive to him. There are a couple of problems with this.

Problem 1: Critical reading

The quote that was sent out was incomplete and did not paint an accurate portrayal of John Mayer’s thoughts on dating Black women. One would have only to do a close (critical) reading of his statements to see his intended message: I let myself be guided by my carnal desires without listening to my heart. I’m going to start listening to my heart.

On his site, Dr. Hill responds to the interview by saying, “I can’t say John Mayer is racist. He probably thinks he was being edgy and funny because he has a “black pass.” It’s still irresponsible.” I don’t believe he was saying that at all. In the interview Mayer says that someone else asked him how it felt to have a “hood pass”. A hood pass being a figurative statement meant to indicate that he’s been given an honorary membership into the Black community. Simply because someone else asks how it feels to have one does not mean that he accepted it and feels the right to use this privilege. How did Mayer choose to speak about this?

…it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

I believe Mayer meant that having a hood pass enables you to say the word “nigger” without opposition from the people who that term was used to abuse. Mayer acknowledges that he does not have one because, even before his fame, he has never been refused service based on a first impression. Meaning, the only people who have hood passes are the ones who, on first glance, would be immediately refused service upon entering a restaurant. Was his statement insensitive? Sure.

Problem 2: Misdirected anger

Mayer’s statement may have been insensitive, but what did he really do wrong? He stated an attraction towards a specific type of woman and made a comment about race relations. A lot of musicians do this and we in the Black community do not threaten to stop playing their music. In fact, women were the main people preventing radio stations from taking the following song off the air because of the volume of requests for it.

[Lil’ Wayne]
Un
I like a long haired thick red bon
Open up her legs then filet mignon that pussy
I’m a get in and on that pussy
If she let me in I’m a own that pussy
Go’n throw it back and bust it open like you ‘posed to
Girl I got that dope dick
Now come here let me dope you
You gon’ be a dope fiend
Your friends should call you dopey
Tell ’em keep my name out they mouth if they don’t know me
Huh
But you can’t come and tunecha
I’ll fuck the whole group
Baby I’m a groupie
My sex game is stupid
My head is the dumbest
I promise
I should be hooked on phonics
Haha

But anyway I think you’re bionic
And I don’t think you’re beautiful
I think you’re beyond it
And I just wanna get behind it
And watch you
(back it up and dump it back-
Back it up and dump it back)

[Chorus:]
Cause we like her
And we like her too
And we like her
And we like her too
And we like her
And we like her too
And we like herr
And she like us too

I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world

[Drake:]
Yea
Alright
(ohh ohhh)
She be jumpin up and down
Tryna fit that ass in
Took her half an hour
Just to get that belt to fasten
All they want to talk about is partyin’ and fashion
Every single night I have a dream that I am smashin’
Them all
Young Money man this shit so timeless
And I’m in the mood to get faded so please bring your finest
And what are all your names again we drunk remind us
Are any y’all into girls like I am let’s be honest

She wants me she wants me
Cause I got it all shawty tell me what you don’t see
I will fuck with all y’all
All y’all are beautiful
I just can’t pick one so you can never say I’m choosy hoes
And Wayne say pussy pussy pussy
And weed and alcohol seem to satisfy us all
Damn
And every time I think of staying with her
She bring that friend around that make a nigga reconsider man

[Chorus]

[Jae Millz:]
I ain’t being disrespectful baby I’m just being Millz
And I don’t know how fake feels so I gotta keep it real
I just wanna fuck every girl in the world
Every model every singer every actress every diva
Every house of diddy chick every college girl every skeezer
Stripper and every desperate housewife that resemble eva
My role model was will
So married boy I’m in the milf
It don’t matter who you is miss
You can get the business
Haaaa

[Gudda Gudda:]
These hoes is gods gift like Christmas
I like ’em caramel skin long hair thick ass
And I swear I’m feelin’ all y’all
I’m scrollin’ down my call log
And I’m a call all y’all
My butter pecan Puerto Rican
She screamin’ out “papi” every time a nigga deep in
And I’m about to get my Bill Clinton on
And Hilary can Rodham too boy I gets my pimpin’ on

[Chorus]

[Mack Maine:]
And bitch I’m Mack Maine -aine -aine -aine
Sanna Lathan
Megan Good
Angelina Jolie
Hah
D Woods
For free suites I’d give Paris Hilton all-nighters
In about 3 years, holla at me Miley Cyrus
I don’t discriminate, no not at all
Kit kat a midget if that ass soft I break her off
I exchange V cards with the retards
And get behind the Christian like DR cause he are
Mack Mizzo
Baby
Cause he are Mack Mizzo
Baby

[Chorus:]
Cause we like her
And we like her too
And we like her
And we like her too
And we like her
And we like her too
And we like herr
And she like us too

I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world
I wish I could fuck every girl in the world

Young Mula baby

Milan Ford, the man who tried to get the song taken off the air had this to say about where “we” direct our anger,

Remember when Don Imus called the Rutgers [University] women’s basketball team a bunch of nappy-headed hos? We got CBS to remove him as a host just a few days later. Why do we limit our defense only to those who don’t look like us? As a husband and father, something in me just said we need to protect our women.

We really need to reevaluate what causes us to rise up and show our strength. The way it seems, nothing will stop Lil Wayne. Unless, of course, he raps about only wanting to *&$( every White girl in the world. Cause, you know, that would be bad.

Next: The 3^rd Problem